Your phone is broken and you are barely managing to make calls and you have to buy a new mobile phone. You would do what any sane person would do. Go online look up different models within your budget, probably ask some friends and based on the reviews, you make a decision within a reasonable amount of time… However, it doesn’t end there, you spend days on looking up reviews online of all kinds of phone, keep asking all (to the point of all of them being irritated) and sundry about which phone they have, what they like and what they don’t like, play devils advocate in your head about every possible option.. Ponder and ponder and sometimes never end up buying, stuck in analysis paralysis. After all that, you will never buy until perhaps your phone stops functioning…later you wonder if you made that decision in a hurry as your phone had broken down.
Perhaps this may still seem like a right thing to do for a expensive purchase, what if you do this for simple daily things as what to buy, what to wear, why did someone say that, picking apart and criticizing how you presented in the meeting in your head a hundred times after it is done..
It seems a bit over the top, right?
Only perhaps an overthinker will understand or empathize with ruminators like me. By the end of every decision perhaps you have acquired enough knowledge to advice everyone else about that particular product or decision and in the process also become a pro-researcher. But when it comes to taking decisions for self, an overthinker is stuck or will take a really long time to action it, even if it is done, one is constantly wondering if the decision is right.
I am not sure where or how I acquired overthinking in my life, for a long time I didn’t even know I was an overthinker. Bit of research led me to find out that the ‘why’, if you have perfectionist tendencies, if for whatever reason you needed to be hyper-vigilant early on in your life, anxiety and stress also causes you to overthink.
Here are some tried and tested methods that has helped me make progress and distance myself from my overthinking habits.
Be conscious of your thoughts
So the road to recovery’s first step is realizing that you are overthinking. It is difficult to control your thoughts, but being aware of that you may be doing this more than required, helps to reign in and consciously make those changes. As you keep ruminating your neural pathways get stronger in the same repetitive patterns. The only way to breakfree is to consciously make a decision to step outside of your rumination and out of your head. Be present and conscious of your thoughts.
Schedule time to think
Unfortunately I don’t remember where, but I read somewhere to schedule time to overthink. This has been ‘the ’absolute best advice. Works especially when I know ahead of time, that I have an important meeting on Monday on a Friday. Usually I spoil the entire weekend thinking about it. But setting a time to address and prepare for the meeting 2 hours earlier, and schedule time to worry then has been super effective. Every time I caught myself thinking about that meeting over the weekend, I pushed it to 12 noon on Monday. As that moment passes, you get distracted with other things.
Talk or Walk
Walking and getting out in nature, may even a garden or a park is the most effective method for realizing your problems are so much smaller in this big world. Walking has to be the most underrated exercise, the best wellness tip that anyone can practice. I do all the talking in the early morning walk with my sister. Talk to someone, not necessarily about what is going on in your head, but anything that can take your mind way from rumination is helpful too. When you are helping someone else, you forget about your problems.
Write it down
Especially when it comes to making big decisions, write down all information to make an informed choice. It is easy to get stuck in your head, writing it down helps distilling all that information to make the best decision or understand the situation better. Journaling can take you on a self discovery journey. I found this printable template on etsy gives you direction for your over thinker thoughts.
Take a leap of faith
Trust in your decisions and be accepting of your choices. You made the decision with the best available information, with all the choices you had. As an adult, own your responsibilities, face the result of the decisions you made, whatever it may be. Learn from it. Let go of trying to be perfect and don’t forget to be kind to yourself. You wouldn’t berate a friend who is going through a difficult time, so why be critical of yourself. For me, my faith in God, has taught me not rely completely on my own understanding (Proverbs 3:5,6), there is no place for overthinking in faith. No wonder it is called taking leap of faith.
It is a journey, but with practice everyday gets better.
